Best query to exclude existing friends from query

I have a User table

/ id_user / username / ..

friends table (pair AB and BA):

/ friend_of / friend_to

and a friend_request table (used for pending friend requests)

/ id_req/ sent_from / sent_to

I would like to have a little search for new friend feature (autosuggestion style) and I would like NOT to show in the list friends that are ALREADY in my friends list OR being in a friend request pending.

The idea behind the query would be to show the username of user NOT in the friend_to column and NOT in the sent_to column.

I came up with these two flavors:

select id_user,username 
from public.user u 
where 
username like '%tom%' 
and 
u.id_user NOT IN (SELECT sent_to FROM friend_request where sent_from = 288) 
AND 
u.id_user NOT IN (SELECT friend_to FROM friends where friend_of=288);

OR

select id_user,username
from public.user u 
left join friend_request fr 
on 
u.id_user=sent_to AND fr.sent_from=288
left join friends f 
on 
u.id_user = f.friend_to AND f.friend_of=288
where username like '%tom%' AND sent_to IS NULL and friend_to IS NULL;

Both of these produce the same result. But I would like some advice on which one is a better choice performance and bets practice wise?